Gone With the Wind of Maturity

Im a chick who holds to the saying that Laughter IS the best medicine...I like to see people smile..i'll embarass myself just to make sumone's day....I make jokes...laugh for no apparent reason just to see a person smile....no matter how lousy i feel...Smiles on a person's face changes my whole perspective on that particular day....its like i feel im responsible to bring smiles to the people i love no matter how much of hurt i feel...thats just who i am...so acting kiddish and immature at times is just something that gets applied to or associated to me....which is why I'm telling you this story today...the day i change...

I'm tired of people thinking me immature and kiddish...its like everyone around me does not take me serious no more...after i stopped work..i loosened up...i felt at ease...but i guess i let my guard down and didnt control that certain ease of mine....and i just went crazy...which was wrong of me since apparently im leaving quite a very immature impression to people...which cant be blamed coz it was basically my fault in the first place to begin with...i let it happen...

Doesnt mean Im not working now i dun know whats life....i was working for crying out loud...many ppl would not agree with me that working life is awesome...but thats how i felt...i felt working changed my whole perspective of life...taht you gota earn for what you do in your everyday activity....there is no such thing as free stuff....there is always deception and survival of the fittest....doesnt mean if im in college now i have forgotten about all those lessons that i have learnt...I'm young...yes and ive got loads to learn...but that doesnt mean you got the right to labelize me as inexperience...im a 'Work in Progress'...so dun judge me for being imperfect....

When it comes to relationships..i must admit im no fool when it comes to the game of love...I've loved, I've lost and I've learnt...I know when im being played...i know when one is afraid to take risk and i know when one is Trully Madly Deeply...I am who i am today because of what i've learnt from my past experience...doesnt mean if i go back once in awhile to childhood stage im totalli kiddish...this is me trying to dream a bit after facing a hard reality....is that so bad???

So what am i gonna do now you ask??? Im gonna be that matured, knowledgeble chick that i noe i am but just havent shown it much....why? Because its about time i do sumthing with my life...im done with all the 'What ifs'....i wan something concrete in my life...i know my goals and what i wanna be...no more distractions, sidetracks....its just gonna be gone with the wind of MATURITY!!!!

The Crossroads....

In life we come up across certain decision making that makes us dumbfounded, confused, afraid just about anything negative that one can think off...its either we do this...or we do that...choose this or choose that...leaving us in a state of numbness on what to decided next...this is what we call CROSSROADS...where everything connects to each other but only one road can be taken...and you know whats the worst part? Once taken..Turning back is not an option...wether it was good decision or not...you have to face what comes up next....

I for one...never like Crossroads...a most frowned upon situation especially for a clueless person like me could ever face...as it is I'm still learning how to walk on my own two feet...then here comes a challenge which must be faced wether i like it or not EVENTUALLY....this is how it goes...i get to the crossroads...i stand right in the middle of it....i look left...i look right...i look to the front and then to the back...i tip top to get a better more farther view...to see wether i could get a glimpse of whats in store for me....but being stunted as i am...its not realli possible to do so...in a matter of speaking....then I close my eyes...think what should be done...RIGHT....i follow what my 'heart' tells me...and then i open my eyes...and take the road that i chose to be 'greener and less trodden'....a good decision? a bad one? well it all depends on wether i used my brain...my heart or just a clueless 'what the hell' guess....

So what does a person do??? What am i to do? Avoid risk and just live a flat life line...with no ups and downs??? Or do i live life with heartbreaks and heartfelts...with happiness and sadness...love and drama...comedy and thriller...friends and enemies??? Lol...i guess i gave the answer to my own question...don't you think??? :-)

For now im taking the road where I'm a lady learnin to be a woman!!! A Sexy B.I.T.C.H!!!!!